First Night

His mind was crowded with unlinked, random thoughts as he climbed up the stairs. Past two days had been the most important of his life and hectic as well. Why not, after all it was his wedding. From sitting uncomfortably for the rituals which seemed to take infinite time to get over to greeting and being greeted by each and every guest, it had been a tiring experience; But also the most cherishing one, because he was getting married. After those two strenuous days, he was back in his hometown, with Sanjana, his wife and relatives. ‘Time to rest, finally’ he thought. But relatives can sometimes be so mean, especially just after the wedding… They teased him whole day while some pujas took place at home, teasing him about the first night with wife after marriage. ‘Why don’t they just shut up?’ he cursed inside. He could even see it in the eyes of elderly, their mischievous smiles, winks and whispers. ‘This sucks dude’, he thought. But what could he do, other than sitting amongst them and pretend to blush whole day! But blush he did, inside. He decided to shut his mind, that would stop his heart from beating fast and take away part of the nervousness that was filled up inside.

Finally the day got over, thankfully his parents decided that it was time to sleep and he made his way towards his room amongst the dying chaos downstairs. ‘Where is Sanjana… haven’t seen her around for couple of hours… I wonder if she’s already in the room.’ The door was closed, painted with congratulatory messages from his friends which did little to stop his growing uneasiness. He opened the door, ‘Whoa!’ For a second, he thought he was on sets of some movie. The room was dimly lit, decorated beautifully with flowers and cards. Rose petals were spread on the bed. Streetlight made up for the missing moonlight in the window. Only thing missing was the bride with gunghat. More uneasiness… ‘She is not here, thank god. But why am I getting so nervous? Anyway where is she?’

He went forward to sit on the bed but stopped when he was just about to sit. ‘It’s so nicely decorated, why spoil it’. He stood at the window looking outside while thoughts raced in his mind. ‘In the movies, they show the groom lifting gunghat from bride’s face, she blushes a bit, they both smile and they sleep together… don’t they?? And it’s exactly opposite in soaps. Both have some problems between them and at the end the groom has to sleep on the couch while bride sleeps on the bed.’

The door opened. It was Sanjana, in her bright red saree embroidered with golden threaded nakshi. ‘She looks so beautiful in this saree’. She smiled at him, he smiled at her…      

He jumped at the sound of door opening behind him. ‘You fool, this is no time to dream’ he told himself, wondering over those colourful thoughts. It was Sanjana, for real this time, in dark blue salwar. ‘Thank god, this is gonna be different than the movies’. She looked even more beautiful than he thought. He was sweating. “Hi” he said shyly, playing with his fingers. Someone giggled behind her. ‘Grrrr, who is it? I’ll kill them this time’ he thought. Two distant cousins of Sanjana accompanied her. They bid her good night and went down, still giggling. ‘Why do the giggles need to be so irritating? Look at the guys, even we giggle, but it is like a manly laugh or… wild maybe, whatever but we never mean to offend anyone.’

“Hey”, Sanjana replied. She went straight inside towards the bed. He closed the door. Thud…!! ‘Shit, can’t you get closed slowly’, he cursed the door. ‘Did she stop for a second when I closed the door??’ He was sweating more than ever.

She sat on the bed looking out of the window. ‘She looks like she was crying. What should I say’… He moved a little here and there near the door so that she would at least look at him. ‘Talk something, talk something. What dude, you have talked a lot before this. Why this moment of silence now?’

“Finally, we are married… hehe”, he started, desperately trying to break the silence.

“Hmm”, she looked at him and smiled. ‘Ha, that’s some start.’ Confidence up.

“So where were you? Didn’t see you after dinner.” He said.

“I was with mom and dad”.

“Ok.”

Silence. Confidence down.

“So when are they leaving… arr…” he stopped midway, realising it was a wrong time for the question. ‘Is she angry?? She is angry. Dude. I can’t handle this.’ ‘You can, you can.’

“They are leaving by bus early in the morning.” She replied.

“Ok. Hey, did you cry? You look like you did. I mean, Pune is near you know, we can go there anytime you want.” He smiled a little.

“Hmm.” ‘Now what does it mean, she cried or she didn’t??’ Silence.

“Don’t worry, you’ll feel like being at home here. And anyway you have lived in the hostel right? So you are used to living outside home”, he said, with a sheepish smile. ‘Was it a joke?’ he asked himself.

“Hmm. Yes.”

“I know. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine here. And mom n dad are just a call away, anytime.”

He expected silence again but she said, in her soft voice “Actually, I am a bit nervous”.  And for the first time in last two minutes that seemed like eternity, both of them smiled widely.

“Me too. You know all these relatives, they talk anything, I got bored whole day.”

“Hmm.”

“So what did mom n dad tell you?”

She nodded her head in negative manner and smiled.

“Oh, come on. You can tell me. What?”

“Umm, nothing, just live happily. I have to manage family and job and other chores and…umm… that’s all.”

He smiled. “Hmm. You can do it. Don’t worry.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know. You have the capability to do whatever you decide to do. I felt it when we talked before marriage.”

“Oh really…?” She said, mischievously.  

“Seriously.” ‘Did I go a bit overboard?? No, but I meant what I said. Now is she thinking that I am saying all this to flatter her??’

“So, tell me, how many girls did you see before me?”

‘Now, why would she want to hear it again? I have already told her.’

“Two. We talked about this, didn’t we?”

“Then why did you choose me?”

“But we have already talked about this…”

She cut him off saying, “But I want to hear it again.”

He shrugged, gathered his words and said, “I and my parents found us more compatible…”

“Uhmm, we are not machines, don’t say compatible. Anyways, what were you saying? And tell me what YOU think.”

“Ok mam” he said, smiled, “I just… I liked you. Our interests match, our thoughts match. They didn’t in case of the other two girls. I liked you on the first day itself.”

“Really? And for how many days did you talk with the other two to find your compati…sorry, interests?” She said teasingly.

“Once or twice.”

“Lier.”

“No. Really. I realised on the very first time we talked that our interests match. I was ready to decide the wedding date on that day itself, but you said ‘let’s first know each other’, didn’t you?”

“Oh come on. It was a mutual decision, now don’t turn back and put everything on my head…” She was irritated, it showed. He loved that look on her face.

“Hey. Hey, I was just joking. But seriously, I discarded those two outright from the queue.”

“Hmm, queue ha? Don’t be mean. And how many were there in the queue?”

“Does it matter? I liked you, you liked me and we are married.” He smiled triumphantly.

She smiled too.

He said, “Now, you tell me, how many guys have you seen before me?? I didn’t even ask this once before marriage.”

“Sadly, only you.” She said, making a face.

‘What was that look? Disappointment?? What does it mean? She was forced to marry me, or is she not happy of the fact that she didn’t get to choose because I am the first and last she saw??’ Human mind is a messed up place. Suddenly he was taken over by jealousy, possessiveness and what not!

“Mister, I was joking. Look at your face.” She giggled. “I met one guy. But I didn’t like him and fortunately he didn’t like me for the same reasons of the mismatch, interests, thoughts and all that. Then I met you.”

He loved that giggle. She looked so cute. Love, attraction, happiness replaced the few seconds old ‘what not’s.

Meanwhile she continued, “You are a good guy, smart, good looking, clever and yet down to earth and sensitive too. I liked you instantly.”

Who doesn’t like being praised! He floated towards the other end of the room and sat by the window.

“What did you like in me?” she asked.

“Same that I told you before…”

“Again”, she demanded.

He smiled; he loved that commanding tone of hers. ‘I guess I love everything about her.’ That made the answer simple and difficult at the same time.

“You are so full of life…”

“No heavy terms please”, smiling she said.

Mildly irritated due to the interruption, he went on, “You are beautiful, smart, cute, open minded, full of confidence in whatever you do, determined and yet sensitive… Mom and dad felt the same.”

“Hmm. Thank you.” She said.

Silence. ‘Why the silence, why the silence… What exactly happens after marriage? And if something happens, does it start happening right from the day one, sorry, night one?’

“Hey do you know that joke about the first night?”

“Which one?”

“On the first night, the bride sits in the window looking at the sky for long. Husband gets bored and asks her, ‘What are you doing in the window?’ She replies, ‘My mother told me that first night after marriage is very special, so I am looking at the sky, trying to find the difference.’, hehe, crazy.” He laughed, not so confidently. ‘Lame, dude!’

She laughed and said, “Is that why you are sitting by the window?”

Realizing the joke worked other way than expected, he thanked god for making things come together coincidentally and smiled. “No no, I was just…” He came over to the bed and sat beside her.

“Hey should we predict what our future will be?”

“Hmm, how are we going to do that?” she said, amused.

“I can do a little palm reading. Give me your hand.”

“Is it an excuse to hold my hand?” She liked teasing him. She loved those little lines appearing on his forehead when he got irritated.

But he smiled, “Yes, now give me your hand”

He took her right hand. She looked at him smiling, lovingly. She found those sudden bursts of enthusiasm in him amusing.

“See, this line here, goes till the very end of the palm. That means, you will have a long and prosperous life. This line here says, you will be rich…”

“Do you mean ‘we’?”

“Right now this is your palm, we’ll see mine later. Let’s look at the side; do you see two lines here? That means you’ll have two children, one…”

“WE”

“Hmm? Yeah, we will have two children, one boy and one girl.”

“Don’t you think that’s too typical?”

“Yes it is, but that’s what the palm says. I am not telling you my personal thoughts.”

“Hmm, ok. And what do you think about it?”

“One boy, one girl is enough right?”

She punched him playfully on shoulder, “Hello there, I am not talking about more. Less is better.”

He loved that too, whenever she poked, punched, hi-fived him. ‘Should I tell her?’

“Why less? No think, one boy…”

“We can decide it later right?”

“Hmm”. ‘Should I tell her?’

“Ok now let’s read your palm.” She said.

“Not yet. I have one more thing to say.”

“What’s that?”

He gathered his courage. ‘You are married now buddy, what’s stopping you?’

He held her hand lightly, sat down on the floor on his knees and said, “And I think I love you… I mean I love you. And I promise I will be a good husband, I will take care of you and will never let you down…”

She grinned; her dimples looked cuter than ever. “I know and I feel the same” She held his hand tightly and pressed it gently. He again sat beside her, now relieved and full of all good feelings that make you feel weightless.

They sat there for a moment, just like that, looking at each other, without talking. Distant sound of bells of a clock interrupted the silence. Twelve strikes.

‘Whoa, it’s 12? Already?’

“Hey, are you tired? Last two days were pretty tiring. And you didn’t even eat properly at the dinner today.”

“Yeah, I guess.” She wanted to say something but she didn’t.

  “Ok. Then let’s sleep. Even I am tired. And we’ll go see off your mom and dad in the morning.”

A smile instantly spread on her face, a delighted smile. She was happy to have a husband understanding her unsaid feelings.

“Yes, thank you.” Both smiled happily.

And they lay down on the bed looking at each other, holding hands, smiling, jumping inside with joy, lost in each other’s eyes, sketching their future, thinking how filling it would be to have someone with you at every step.  Just before closing her eyes, she said softly, “I love you”, he too was about to close his eyes. Under the spell of sleep, he didn’t even remember what he replied, but one last thought that came to his mind was – ‘So this is how it ends in the real life.’