How not to start 2019

I just had the worst flight experience of my life. I was in India for a week. Just one week! When an Indian goes home, there's a long list of favorite foods that must be ticked however short the stay. So, I stuffed myself (irresponsibly) and the stomach rebelled.

The journey back to Dresden started with acidity and dysentery that worsened with every flight I took. Couldn't sleep, couldn't watch a movie. It didn't help that my co-passenger on the aisle was always sleeping and refused to switch seats. "Suit yourself," said I and busied myself in imagining ways to cross without waking him up before giving up. Innumerable visits to the toilet later, a woman in the first row started eyeing me suspiciously, so I decided to try the other side. There I found an empty aisle-seat and some solace in improved convenience. 

As you can imagine, on this trip, I had ample time to inspect toilet booths. My analysis of a considerable sample size says that Indian airports have the best toilets. Why, the jet-spray, of course! Compared to toilet paper scrubbing, jet-spray is like the cool breeze on a hot summer day. It should appear there in Indian inventions, right after zero. Moscow airport was the worst. Their toilet paper is a crime against humanity. Rougher than a sand-paper. Plus, it didn't have perforations which made it impossible to tear it gently in nice rectangular pieces (I'm a stickler for such things, when I'm in the mood).

Finally, after what seemed like ages, I reached home-sweet-home and the toilet that comes with it. Ah the comfort! I tell you. Of all the rights out there, the right to poop as long as you want without being judged is criminally underrated.

So, all in all, a terrible trip and not an ideal start to the year. But I will take it as motivation to eat healthy. Here’s also wishing you a happy and healthy new year! Till next time, tschüss.